hey everyone!
there’s so much i could write about these past 2 weeks, but i decided to write about more of a personal testimony that i am going to share. for as long as i can remember, i’ve had deep empathy for people that has led me to feel deeply burdened by my emotions. it’s felt like i’ve always been carrying around other peoples weight on me. while being this sensitive to peoples emotions can be really beautiful, i haven’t seen it that way most of the time. anyway, Monday night we had a worship night and about halfway through i started to feel that same heaviness on me. i’m not sure where it was coming from but it wasn’t leaving. i decided that i was going to ask my squad leader, ella, for prayer and to not stay feeling that. one of the first things she said to me was “this is not your portion”. and it’s so true, Gods portion for us is light, love and FREEDOM. so we prayed for atleast fifteen minutes about it and just kept repeating to myself to give my burdens to Him. Jesus says “my yoke is easy and my burden is LIGHT”. in that moment i remember just feeling like all the weight i’ve carried around with me being such a sensitive person was just taken away. i’ve never felt so light in my life. it truly was the best feeling. that is how Jesus wants us to feel all the time. it’s not our purpose to feel burdened down by this world. i think working in the ministry that i am, this has been one of the most important things i’ve learned this trip. to give my burdens to God. when i feel grief or sadness for someone or a family or situation, i immediately have to give it to God. it’s beautiful to feel compassion for others, but Jesus used His compassion for action and led people to healing and restoration. are you sitting in your emotions or using them for His glory? most importantly though, filling my spirit with joy and peace is something that is available for me at all times. He is calling out to us “give your burdens to me” Jesus wants to care for us and fill us with His joy and love (John 15:11). acting in this way is obedient to the Lords calling and it’s true of His portion for us. ask and you will receive His goodness. He DEEPLY desires to give His Spirit to us, all we have to do is ask. we truly can ask Him for anything that we need and we will receive it. I thought i was always going to be someone who struggles in this way, but it is simply just not in Gods character to leave me in this alone. He is faithful to us always and I am so thankful for that. growing in my intimacy with the Lord and feeling more and more of not just His insight but His love for me has been the greatest blessing of this whole situation. feeling close to Jesus’ heart is truly the best place you can be on the earth. it restores all things broken.
